Artwiculate-Twitter logo (Tweeting as @TSupercargo)

Sward: (n) Turf or grass, stretch of turf or grass; (v) to cover or become covered with grass

Today’s word produced such a fine crop of puns (and many another good tweet) that I found myself prepping an RT round-up almost subconsiously.

Today’s WOTD is one forever linked my mind with the works of Edgar Rice Buroughs (John Carter of Mars), but let’s keep it real.

Here’s @Squawkingalah’s definition to start us off

RT @Squawkingalah A sward by any other name is a patch of grass. #artwiculate

Grass, yes, and the sod of earth entangled grass roots which sparked a number of punning uses. Here’s one from @aptronym

RT @aptronym I know sod all about sward. #artwiculate

Some others with a close familiarity with the sod were @mazpowles’s rugby juniors

RT @mazpowles The under 8 junior team is pretty bad at rugby but they’re expert sward swallowers.


At this time of the year in the northern hemisphere, and for some of us for pretty much the whole summer too, hayfever is an issue

RT @Qyntara Just the sight of the word sward gives me hay fever and yes, it is all in the head.

@Qyntara, I feel your pain! (He sneezes & coughs but pushes on.)

Grass, lawns and mowing received a good deal of attention today, as well they might.

RT @smeedha Sward? Gimme mow!

Indeed we shall, @smeedha! Here’s @AequoEtBono remaking a well-known expression

RT @AequoEtBono The peasant finished the mowing in record time, thus proving that the peon is mightier than the sward #artwiculate

And here’s another from @steveandhens

RT @steveandhens My neighbour at I are very competitive about our lawns. As for which is better, it’s just his sward against mine. #artwiculate

@Ameeee gave us a quick extract from her forthcoming account of a territorial dispute

RT @Ameeee The Sward had difficulty establishing themselves after the turf war with The Herbicides.

And I shall segue out of this section with one the few serious snatches of poetry I came across today, it’s from @therevmountain

RT @therevmountain The pride of the work in the gardener’s ward, is the crisp clipped green of the garden sward. #artwiculate

Another poem that was not setting out to make comedy from the word is this gogyohka from @dsceiorg

RT @dsceiorg Soiree on the sward / Heels sink / So barefoot they dance / As the night goes by / Green grass between their toes

A poem about dancing on the lawn … well, that takes me back to comedy. Here’s @JonPowles

RT @JonPowles There was a horny Frenchman ~ whose morals were deplor’d ~ he’d take girls up the garden path ~ and lay them on his sward.

Which I have to pair with this limerick from @spikelynch

RT @spikelynch There was a most liberal Lord Who said “I have always abhorred The conventions of class Anyone fond of grass May gambol about on my sward.”

As I’ve said before, I think getting a successful limerick into a tweet is a technical achievement in itself. Kudos @spikelynch!

Poetry and feet on grass takes us to this contribution from @LBY3

RT @LBY3 @Artwiculate Wear shoes while walking across a vorpal sward. Snicker-snack!

Sword and Sward are an inevitable combo – here are few more of the serious and the funny I particuly liked from today’s harvest.

@ourmancanberra reported from the golf course

RT @ourmancanberra “Putt” said Davina “stop fussing over pebbles.” “At the Royal” said Tarquin “it’s tradition to remove the stone from the sward” #artwiculate

While @clintonducas gave us a nice new definition from the cricket ground

RT @clintonducas Sheathing the sward – what happens when they cover the cricket pitch during rain. #artwiculate

@lagadu123 picked up a line from Blake’s perennially popular poem/song (heard at a recent wedding event, for example)

RT @lagadu123 Watch out for the lie of England’s green and pleasant land. And never believe for a moment that the sward shall sleep in the hand.

And I am going to pair that with @elenoreally’s sombre little history

RT @elenoreally From words to swords to wars to wards to sward – the unhappy history of violence. #artwiculate

Lightening the tone slightly here are more blades and swords and more SF references from @beezknez

RT @beezknez Blade runner ~ crosses swards ~ with the replicants #artwiculate

And then here’s @Elixir_V’s Q & A session

RT @Elixir_V Q: What was a matador doing in a meadow? A: He was crossing a sward with a charging bull. #artwiculate

Here’s another Q & A from @Ysabeluna

RT @Ysabeluna Customer: Is this milk fresh? Waiter : Mam, three hours ago it was just sward #artwiculate

And as we seem to be back on the farm, meet @dmriver’s Columbine (of the bovine ilk)

RT @dmriver Columbine paused between sward and swale, udderly bored.

Let’s move away a little from vegetation for the last few tweets. Here’s @Colvinius in the garage

RT @Colvinius I’m starting a Supergrass tribute band called Ultrasward. #artwiculate

And @marcosarroyos with a(nother) brand new car

RT @marcosarroyos The new Subaru Sward is the greenest car going.

What @brucedenby seems to have in his garage is a whole other machine

RT @brucedenby The reincarnation machine broke down and everything came back as sward.

While scientific @FrankSiddarta gave Albert a shout-out …

RT @FrankSiddarta Einstein got it right E = M C sward

… @harrarp was leading a revivalist hymn of sorts

RT @harrarp On sward Grasstian soldiers!

@nedmw reported from another one of those peculiar hotles that so populate Artwicuworld

RT @nedmw I tried to hide in the Hotel Sward but someone grassed me out

And finally (because it’s May Day) I want to share @peterjcaseytwit political tweet

RT @peterjcaseytwit I like grass roots politics, but it’s hard to get a sward in edgeways #artwiculate
And this was the tweet that ended up crowned best of the buch!

I’m thinking of calling this selection “Leaves of Grass” (What’s that sound? Walt Whitman spinning under the sward?)

It’s been such a long time since my last anthology, I don’t think I’ll try to greet “newcomers” to the RoundUp. Instead: Greetings to EVERYONE, featured or not, whose fantastic creativity playing Artwiculate gives pleasure day on day!

With which I bow out and pass you back to @TheSupercargo.

Artwiculate is a game played on Twitter. Visit http://artwiculate.com for more information. The winning tweet and the most popular runners up for today’s word are listed at http://www.artwiculate.com/words/sward (And, for addicts, don’t forget Salon ArtWois at http://www.salonartwois.com/ )

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